I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
