Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
