as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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