Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
