hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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