You work out of a Hotel?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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