Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Less talking, more tequila
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
