More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I want to have your abortion
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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