Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
