GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
