so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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