Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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