highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
