Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
false alarm. still invincible.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my shit smells like andre
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
