He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
