sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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