Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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