I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
