i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
