Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
