you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
