I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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