so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
