wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
