there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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