i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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