Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
