Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
