The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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