Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
