so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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