sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
