bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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