Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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