god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
