He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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