they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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