If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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