Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
