My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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