i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
