fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
