mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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