I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
