NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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