My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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