Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize