i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
