Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize