I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
