I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
