In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
