WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i love accidental penises.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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