How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
