I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
